Public Enjoyment Controlled

It is with great regret that I must report that this page has published incorrect information. Last week, I published the schedule of Zion Canyon Earth Day festivities with the item:

“12 - 6 pm     Food, Beer Garden”

I must now report that festivities will not be that festive after all. It turns out that official permission from the Springdale Town Council had not been obtained. In a stirring display of temperance and principled behavior, the application was denied. Food is OK, beer is not.

One Council member observed that he personally observed excessive drinking in the military.
Soldiers drinking to excess!? Shocking! I never knew ….

Another pointed out that he had put aside his personal principles in granting such permission in the past but that he wasn’t ready to do it again. Those of us without the benefit of principles can only be grateful that we can rely on his to reign in our own unprincipled behavior.

However, I am reminded of the famous German drinking song, “Im Himmel gibts kein bier”.

In heaven there is no beer.
That’s why we drink it here.

Here’s an open invitation to teach the original German lyrics at the next demonstration of unprincipled public drinking. But I suppose we’ll have to travel to Germany, or at least Wisconsin, to find a place where it’s still allowed.

A third pointed out that enjoying a drink in the privacy one’s own home was still very much allowed. I can only conclude then that enjoying one’s self in public is the problem that must be curbed.

And a fourth member noted that in training, she had been told that with the very first drink, you are considered to be “under the influence.” This reminds me of what I have always called the Temperance Union Drinking Song.
(Why are these drinkers always singing?)

Weeeee NEVER eat bread because of the yeast.
Aaaand ONE little bite turns a man to a beast.
Oh, can you imagine the horrible disgrace,
Of a man in the gutter with crumbs on his face!

There are lots of verses. Here’s another open invitation. I’ll conduct training for the rest of them if there’s ever another opportunity in Springdale.

The town manager reported that the previous “Beer and Gear” festival was a great success and that was undoubtedly one reason why the present application had been made. The Council, however, was very concerned that if this success was allowed to be repeated, every celebration that came along would also want to be successful.

And we couldn’t have that, now could we?