And they say there’s never any good news.

You’ve probably read about the recent study in the journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics about how teens who take a pledge of abstinence until marriage have just as much fun as those who don’t … well … except for the disease and unwanted pregnancy. The pledgies don’t take precautions at the same rate so they deal with a bit more of that. It’s nice to hear that today’s youth haven’t lost their appreciation of the joys in life.

(Did you also read that Governor Palin is a grandma now? And the proud parents plan to get married real soon too. I wonder if they will let the other grandma out of jail – drug laws are so unfair – for the wedding? They’re calling the little … ummm … ‘new arrival’ Tripp. It goes well with Trig and Track. I wonder what they name their dogs?)

Contrary to popular belief, abstinence doesn’t really prevents pregnancy! Where I come from, lots of people still get pregnant in a swimming pool or in public toilets. (But you’ve got to bend your legs twice between the knee and the ankle in some of the really small toilets.) One innocent mom was victimized in a public restroom and gave birth to a 7 lb 10 oz commode. They caught a guy doing the front stroke in one swimming pool and asked the innocent moms to come forward so they could make him take responsibility. He’s now paying child support for 843 kids.

Inspired by the outstanding success achieved by our tax dollars in Iraq and here at home helping the Katrina victims, conservative lawmakers have spent roughly $200 million annually on abstinence education. I’ll take the abstinance pledge if they’ll send me some of that action!