Under cover with our national leaders!

The revelation that Governor Sanford has been getting some on the side prompted ABC News to do a great summary of recent political hypocrites … especially the ones who came down hard on President Clinton. Here’s a summary of their summary. All of these people are on record with prissy-faced disapproval of Clinton during the his impeachment. And ALL (except one – see below) have publicly admitted to doing the horizontal mambo with someone other than their legal spouse.

• Larry Craig – Republican – Senator – Idaho
• John Edwards – Democrat – Senator – North Carolina
• Robert Livingston – Republican – Representative – Louisiana
• Henry Hyde – Republican – Representative – Illinois
• John Ensign – Republican – Senator – Nevada
• Newt Gingrich – Republican – Representative – Georgia
• Tom DeLay – Republican – Representative – Texas

That’s a pretty impressive list! It’s enough to derive statistically valid conclusions! So what can we learn?

First, there’s one name that just doesn’t belong there: Larry Craig.

Craig is the only one on the list who still claims to be innocent. And he’s the only one accused of a homosexual affair too. The only evidence against him is an incident in which he was arrested on some pretty weak evidence. Yes, he did plead guilty, but his story at the time – that he was was just trying to brush the whole thing under the rug and keep it out of the news – really could be true. In my opinion, the only thing that he’s clearly guilty of is stupidity. And that’s NEVER been a disqualification for high public office.

The Republican party, however, is guilty as sin in his case. They never gave him the benefit of a doubt and threw him under their homophobic bus immediately. To a Republican, political corruption isn’t really a problem. But the wrong kind of brotherly love is totally unforgivable. Oh … And convicting people without a fair trial is OK too. The important thing is to be publicly outraged at the ‘right’ sins.

Second, that list is heavy with family-values, moral majority, righteous, Bible thumping zealots. Evidently, their selective reading of the Bible doesn’t include Matthew 6:5:

“And when you pray, you shall not be like the hypocrites. For they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the corners of the streets, that they may be seen by men.”

In fact, I’d say this is the most significant conclusion that you can draw. Public Bible-thumpers seem to be wa-a-ay more likely to be working late at the wrong office.

But the really important question is, “Is this really a public concern?” Was Clinton’s momentary weakness with an intern really worth tearing the country apart? Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld lying America into an unwinnable, bankrupting war is surely more important  . . .  Isn’t it?

We know now that Kennedy was the hot-sheets king of Pennsylvania Avenue. Only Johnson might give him serious competition. Does that make them bad presidents? Many historians believe now that even the dour, puritan Eisenhower relieved the stress of running World War II with a trusty aide-de-campout. But he won the war and by all accounts was a sincere patriot who always put his country first. It seems to me that if there were pillow games, it should only be the concern of Dwight, Mamie, and the aide.

We would be much better served to follow the example of the French. Francois Mitterrand was the leader of France for 14 years, even though it was well known that he kept a mistress and fathered a daughter with her. When he died, both families stood side by side at his funeral.

Why are the bedroom habits of our politicians really any of our business?