The AAPERS Report – A True Story
4 Comments Published by DanM June 29th, 2009 in Southern Utah People.I have mentioned that I was in the Army for two years, haven’t I?
A couple of years ago, when the local company of weekend warriors was sent to Iraq for a tour of duty, everybody in Washington and Iron counties got really patriotic. I understand. I was torn away from my wife and sent away during the Vietnam war. It was a life-changing experience, but perhaps not in the way that you might expect.
Anyway … The local Hurricane paper advertised that they were interested in publishing real stories from real veterans and their experiences. I decided to write mine up and sent it in.
They never published it. I wonder why. But you might like to read it here.
I’ve never heard that story before, Dan. All I can say is “Wow.”
This is the abridged version. I also had great fun just looking for the missing report.
When I walked into the first office on the distribution list, I told them we were missing our report and please could they check and see if they had one. Being nothing but a Spec-4 (ie … dirt), I had a hard time getting anyone to listen to more than one sentence.
After doing that a couple of times, I changed my story. In the Pentagon, one validation of the very existance of an office was “being on the distribution list.” The theory is that if other people send you information, then you must be doing something useful with it. Right? Of course!
In the next office, I announced that my command was doing a study to reduce unnecessary paper use. I was checking to see how many offices could be eliminated from the distribution of this report.
The difference in the way I was treated was phenominal. I was almost immediately ushered into the office of whoever ran the place, and that person immediately got several other people looking for my report. When they couldn’t find it, they were hugely apologetic and insisted that the report was critical to their mission, the war effort, and the general salvation of mankind.
I wrote down this result in my survey notes with great seriousness. Being on the doorstep to freedom creates another kind of freedom even before you walk through the door. I’ve always wondered if the Major ever heard about that too.
I love it and believe every word.
I believe you believe it!