And so, with all the suspense of a World Championship Wrestling match, Tiger Woods has told us he is really, really sorry.

Readers of this page know that I don’t care. Golf has gotta be the second most contrived and silly thing I can imagine someone who calls themselves an adult doing. (Watching golf is the first.) Suppose we make ‘em whack their little white ball past the vanes of a windmill. Oh … we already do. But that’s not serious golf. (Sorry.)…(Not really.) Besides, golf courses are right up there with those environment destroying four-wheelers as a toy that is helping us create our our own oblivion.

I don’t know why anyone cares about who, how, or when Tiger has sex. There’s no evidence that it was anything but consenting adults. Happens millions of times a day. So that’s not what seems really interesting to me.

I’m fascinated by the Russian Doll-like layers of blame and lies surrounding this whole affair. It starts with Tiger himself. From the moment this scandal broke, it became more and more clear that Tiger’s whole public image was a polished and professionally managed, deliberate and premeditated lie maintained just for money. Certainly, the carefully scripted and transparently fake “apology” fits perfectly in that mold. If there was a grain of honesty in him, you’d see him polishing his clubs with the panties of his latest conquest and flipping off the media when he finished. Ah-nold, during his first campaign for governor of California, impressed me with his honesty when a bunch of women accused him of improper behavior on movie sets. That whole attack against him dried up when he just walked away from a gang of reporters who were trying to build up the media value of the incident with an over-the-shoulder last comment, “Old news!” Ah-nold remains one of the few Republicans that I might actually vote for.

The next layer of lies and responsibility is the media. The Sports Illustrated piece about Tiger’s “apology” pictured above just drips with righteous indignation at Tiger’s betrayal of all that’s good and holy. All the while the ad just above it continues SI’s great tradition of sex, sex, and more sex. Yah baby! Show us what ya got!! Anyone who knows me also knows that I like sex … well … maybe even a little more than the next guy. But I don’t lie about it.

To see an illustration of the final layer of lies and responsibility, check out the crowd at any WalMart, the traffic on any freeway, or the audience at a movie. Yep! It’s us. I predict: Tiger’s lies will put his money machine back on track. (If he hasn’t lost his ability to put little white balls into holes in the ground with a stick – always a possiblity.) “Us” loves the lie; eats it up; just wants that good gratification.